fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
