I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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