Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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