I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
