Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
