His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
