There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
