I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
