I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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