I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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