You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
