I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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