her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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