I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
