i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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