I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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