Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Randomize
