Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
