It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
