last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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