I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
