Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
