Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
