It's Friday. Sex?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
