My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
