I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
