kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
