So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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