Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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