and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
