i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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