There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize