Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
