Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Floor bacon is actually really good
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
