Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
