Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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