This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
