What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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