All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize