There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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