Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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