What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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