God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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