R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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