lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
