YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
