i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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