Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
