what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
