belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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