I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
