ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
