i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
