so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
