hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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