Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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