The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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