i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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