Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
