I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
