I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
