In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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