apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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