I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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