You're my little dorito
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Damn victory sex feels great
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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