good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
