The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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