I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
