It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize